The Unbearable Likeness of Peeing

Cooper Thornton
9 min readJan 18, 2022

I turn 60 this week, so naturally I’m concerned about my health. Good resting heart rate of 60, though I took it just now and it was 72, but I was holding my breath for half of it to try to get it lower when I saw at about 30 seconds that it would hit above 60. I believe the stress of trying to lower my heart rate caused it to be higher. Anyway, the last time I was at the doctor to have a pre-cancerous spot on my forehead checked out, my resting heart rate was 60. Blood pressure was also good, 114 over 74. I think that’s good. Is that good? The nurse didn’t seem concerned, so I figured I was good.

Looking at the numbers from my last physical, my glucose was high, but I think I’d had a bowl of Trader Joe’s Frosted Flakes that morning, cause I forgot I was supposed to be fasting, though I still told them I was. I figured it couldn't get into my bloodstream as fast as it apparently did. And I rarely have the Frosted Flakes. I usually have the Shredded Wheat or just some toast, or maybe a smoothie with almond milk, frozen bananas, half a bag of raw baby spinach, and a couple of raw eggs. That’s probably the healthiest I ever get for breakfast. And two cups of coffee. Which makes me very regular. Almost have to actually be on the toilet when I drink my coffee, it acts as such an accelerated laxative. I daren’t wander too far from the porcelain.

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Cooper Thornton

Parent, Actor, People Lover, Observer, Writer and Most Often Happy Depressive in NC by way of LA by way of UK by way of BC by way of TN, where it all started.