Divorce Saved My Marriage

Divorce saved my marriage. We’d had 27 years of mostly good times together and still thought very highly of each other. The divorce saved it from going horribly south. Saved it from bitterness. Saved us from words we couldn’t take back. Saved us from really fucking up our children. Saved us from hating ourselves for enduring further what we thought we were supposed to wait for death to part.

We still think highly of each other. At least I do, of my ex I mean. Maybe I’m crazy to think she thinks well of me too. She acts like she does. I don’t think she just endures me. Maybe I should ask her. But why? We’re already divorced. Why fuck with a good divorce?

It is a good divorce. The whole process really couldn’t have been much smoother. We separated and filed in California, even though we’d be moving to North Carolina before the divorce was final. See, in California, you’re only required to be separated for 6 months after filing and in North Carolina, it has to be at least a year. We wanted to go ahead and get it done. We’d been together 27 years, and in individual and couples therapy for the last two years of that. Why postpone what we knew to be the right thing?

We were in therapy one afternoon and it felt clear to me that our marriage had run its course. It had felt that way for awhile. I turned to my then wife and asked,